How to Tell if You Suffer from Depression Depression and How to Cure It

Here's a simple test to take to see if you suffer from a newly diagnosed syndrome titled "Depression depression", an illness brought on by cutting back severely on your expenses. If you answer "yes" or agree with 5 or more of the 10 symptoms listed below, you may qualify for free advice on how to combat the In-the-Red Blues. But, first, take this easy to answer quiz:

1. It's been so long since you've been on eBay, you've forgotten your password, and you've already used up both of your dogs' first names.

2. You spend hours clipping coupons for products you will never use in the event you can find someone who will buy them from you.

3. You have blocked QVC from your TV; you find yourself constantly watching reruns of "I Dream of Jeannie."

4. You have cut your own hair more than once, telling everyone "The Pixie look is back in style."

5. You went to breakfast at Denny's for the first time ever, because it was free. You don't eat breakfast; you dislike bacon, you hate pancakes, and you had to stand in line for an hour.

6.  Calling long-distance means yelling at someone from across the room.

7.  You visit the 99-Cent store weekly and you feel like I'm Mr. Blue in the check-out line, since it's now, in reality, the Dollar store.

8. You refuse all invitations to go out that require spending any money on gas, food or lodging.

9.  You have started counting flowers on the wall, only to realize there are no flowers there and the wall is seriously in need of some new paint.

10.  You consult every web-site you can find written by doctors, psychologists, and well-meaning bloggers, in an attempt to determine why you feel somewhat crummy. You take every quiz you run across to see if you can name these new feelings. You know something is wrong, Mr. Jones,  but you don't know what it is.

Results: If you can name the three songs referenced in the above quiz, you are fine, you have no problems, other than the average worries of Ma and Pa Kettle.  Go ahead, plug in your Ipod and chill. Things will either turn out or they won't

If you can't understand the questions or your answers, you must consult another website to determine why you have this problem. One I recommend, sort of, is a site written by one guy only who offers advice on fixing at least 758 emotional problems. You may not find your answer  there, but you will feel lucky when you see there are 757 other problems you don't have.

If you think the questions above are stupid, then you most likely graduated high school and your opinion speaks for itself.

If you don't believe in psychology, emotional or mood disorders or syndromes of any kind, you aren't depressed, and you are not alone in feeling anxious and un-nerved (which is a great thing in itself , because, as they used to say, "friends are your needs answered.")

If you answer yes to all of the questions (or at least some of them) you are probably suffering from some sort of Depression Depression, in part, because The powers-that-be refuse to call it by its rightful name. Recession Depression is a milder form of this syndrome, but it usually lasts only a month or so. In the more serious form, Depression Depression lasts many, many months - which some people term "quarters."

Now that you have finished the quiz, here is the free advice, as promised, in the very first paragraph.

If you think you are suffering from Depression Depression, understand that's a normal feeling when no one in the whole world can tell you what's going on or how long it's going to last.  The very best remedy is to get enough rest, eat right, say I love you to everyone you love, count your blessings, and try to find a way to keep laughing  (as the late  Norman Cousins would say, "Laughter is the best medicine" for anything that ails you). Comedy Central, Youtube, movies, the BBC, cartoons on the internet - all places to yuk it up.

(Note from PC: Authentic Depression is a serious illness that requires medical treatment and a professional diagnosis. Many people are seeking treatment due to job or home loss, and that is no laughing matter. This article's intent is to promote humor, in any form, as one cure for mild anxiety and stress).


1 comment

Add a comment

0 answers +0 votes
Post comment Cancel
lucia anna
This comment has 0 votes  by
Posted on Feb 13, 2011