A Better Way of Life
Sometimes dealing with our kids can be very difficult. Some families even wind up with children that have mental health issues. No matter what the deal is, as parents we can find that teaching our kids how to behave properly can be difficult without a firm application of discipline. I experienced different forms of counseling due to anger, anxiety, and depression issues as a teenager. Among most of these forms of counseling and psychiatrics I was blessed with a rare system that when applied helped me self evaluate myself.
Most forms of psychology are very complex and take years to learn and apply. We as parents are always busy and don’t have time to go to college to become psychologists at home. I learned and applied what is called “Reality Therapy” in my life since I was a teenager. It is a pretty simple system that can be taught to young children and applied in our everyday lives. I am no expert on it when it comes to having degrees however I know it enough to apply to my own life and to enforce with my family.
You can learn it easy. There is a book called “The Pursuit of Happiness” and it has pictures of snails on the cover. I was taught that I have five (5) basic needs. Those basic needs are Survival, Freedom, Love & Belonging, Power, and Fun. The belief is that when we desire to meet one or more of these needs we behave in the manner we feel we need to in order to meet that need or needs. The evaluating process after making a poor choice is simple and if practiced enough through self discipline one can pre-assess the situation and prevent a poor choice. Obviously there are some things that are out of our control, but for the issues that are in our control this psychology can be applied. The self-evaluation as I was taught goes as follows:
Step 1- Determine which need or needs you were trying to meet. Write them down and proceed to step 2.
Step 2- What did I do to try and meet those needs and what would be a more appropriate solution to meet those needs in the future if I am faced with a similar or same situation. Write this down.
Writing things down can be very effective for self learning if you can ever recall being forced to write on the chalk board during recess in elementary school. It was a form of punishment that was used to teach us that there are consequences for our actions and remember not to do them again. Applying reality therapy in its simplest form into your everyday life can make wonders for how you interact with people. Just knowing that we choose to be angry and we choose to act out can be difficult to accept. It is the hardest part for most to accept this and that is why many blame others for their actions.
Fact is that we are responsible for our own actions in life. If this was even a debate our court system would be a sham and I could say the devil made me do it to get out of trouble. It is difficult to accept because we are imperfect and naturally succumb to our emotions. Look at monks. They teach themselves through forms of self discipline to control their emotions. It does not mean we don’t feel them, but that we have a higher level of thinking and have more control over them. These forms of self discipline can be applied in anyone’s everyday life and will lower your stress once applied. For more information on this form of psychology check out books by Doctor William Glasser. There is a lot to reality therapy but its very basics can be used by everyone who desires to lower their stress and try to be better people. There would surely be less violence in the world if we all were brought up learning reality therapy in school.
Article by Kevin C Davison
“I write to entertain, and for a cause.”