7 Stages of Inferiority Complex

Whether it be physical imperfection, competence, or social status, admitting it is always out of the question

Whether it be physical imperfection, competence, or social status, admitting it is always out of the question, specially if we were talking about the object of our insecurity. It is okay to feel insecure sometimes as it is a simple statement that we are human. We have weaknesses, we have doubts, and we have (1) desires, which we know are not remotely possible. These desires could be related to how we look physically, how successful we are in life, or how capable we are, and so on. You see, when we put the word "desire" under the spotlight, there is just infinite random meanings we can merge with it.

Quite the irony, almost all of our desires are unattainable. And it leads to only one uncomfortable state of mind: frustration. (2) Frustration then transforms to grouchy behavior. Although uncalled for, these are the earliest stages of inferiority complex. It would eventually intensify into (3) denial. No one, up to this point, knows what was really going on inside our head. They simply notice that we have changed a lot recently. People around us start to become aware of our newfound impulsive demeanor, our amusingly odd excuses, and our sudden rain checks.

The fourth stage of inferiority had been mentioned already, the object of insecurity (4). Everyone looks up on others with a certain idolatry, and we remind ourselves of it not only to envy them, but also to better ourselves. Mild inferiority complex sets in when that good intention backfires. Soon, we'd feel that this has to be a competition, where we must emerge victorious. Our thoughts get clouded, and we can only think of winning.

At some point, something must have made us realize that it wasn't a competition the hard way. Perhaps it was some sort of failure, or a number expectations that we think "we can't reach. And no matter how we try, we just can't."

These unexpected turn of events then drives us to (5) hopelessness. Hereafter, our actions become more obvious to people around us, yet they still can't tell what exactly is playing on our mind. That is the problem; if no one knows, no one can help. And we definitely need help now. We are (6) conflicted, our worries pent-up. It feels as though the ground will cave in beneath us all of a sudden.

At its peak, inferiority complex turns to hate, but more than we hate whoever we envy, we just (7) hate ourselves for not measuring up.

On a positive note, it gets easier to realize and admit to failure after having gone through all those stages. Now everything is crystal clear; there was no competition in the first place, there's no such thing as impossible, and it all started with just one simple desire. It's now easy to retrace our steps backwards and come up with a resolve. And then next time, we'd know better than to repeat this mistake all over again.

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Posted on Oct 18, 2011